India’s Academy of Sorcery boasts an impressive display of flashy colours, from enchanted saris that shift colours sporadically throughout the day, to the lavishly painted exterior of the academy which is situated in a nondescript location along Ganges River. Due to the frightening rate at which the school’s ancient mango tree (jokingly nicknamed “Mammoth Mango Machine”) produces mangoes, students have to endure the perpetually evolving art of mango cuisine at least five days a week. Every year, to the students’ great enjoyment, classes are halted for Diwali to make time for various competitions that take place: firework flourishes and charms for upper-year students (bonus points if it doesn’t set any part of the school on fire), and lantern designing for lower-year students (use of animals, alive or dead, is forbidden).



Among mountains and pastures in northern Scandinavia are the Vittra, a small humanoid race that get along well with humankind as long as they are respected and left in peace. They live in large families and are rarely found alone.

Vittra look almost exactly the same way as most people do, though they are smaller in size. Unlike Goblins who wear earth gray costumes, Vittra are red-robed and extremely clean and tidy. They are often seen in traditional costumes, much like the ones people wear on special occasions. Sometimes they can take other forms, such as small striped worms or larvae. Anyone who happens to tread on such a Vittra will experience a pain in the foot and will become seriously ill.

Vittra’s lives do not differ significantly from those of men. They tend to their own cows (called vitterkor) which are all white and very beautiful, but small in stature. They wear bells of silver with a mysterious melodic sound. Its small size notwithstanding, they provide much more milk than human cattle. It could happen that a fäbodjäntor (pasture lass) would stumble across a vitterkor when she herded her own cattle. If she was quick and she threw a knife over the vitterkor then she could keep it as her own. That evening she would be visited by Vittra, who put certain conditions on her ownership. She would be allowed no more than one bucket of milk per day, otherwise the vitterkor would die, and all calves the vitterkor may bare would belong to the Vittra.

The Vittra would criss-cross the landscape with their cattle along vittervägar (Vittra roads). Sometimes it happened that people carelessly built their homes in the way of these vittervägar and because of this they could get no peace in the house at night. The only ways to solve the problem was to either move house or to sleep with the doors open so the Vittra can pass straight through.

Vittra are also experts at milking men’s cows, which they would abduct for up to three days, and when the cows were returned to the owner they now had the ability to give more milk as a sign of gratitude.

Some Vittra prefer to live in lakes, known as vitterjärnar. If you throw a silver coin into the water before a fishing trip you can expect to get a good catch.

Artwork by Johan Egerkrans

this is the only attractive photo i got of myself while lip syncing to fergie’s glamorous




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which is even funnier because she’s the reason lesbians are called lesbians. she was know as sappho of lesbos and her poems were all about her love for women

no im totally not a lesbo my super actual husband is dick allcocks from man island i’m megahet


who decided this was a good lyric


in other words, pls don’t ask me for pop music recommendations because i have no taste

who wrote this song???? this stupid terrible song???? this song i’ve been listening to on repeat for the past 3 hours????????

who decided this was a good lyric

in other words, pls don’t ask me for pop music recommendations because i have no taste

white boys with pretty singing voices will be the death of me

@nickiminaj: The QUEEN, could never thank you enough.

(Source: serfborts)